Rinku goes to Russia

Rinku goes to Russia

IM ALIIIIIIIIVE! Well, sorta. I started a brand new job in May, which kept me so busy, I didnt have the chance to update my blog or do much of anything. Totally worth it, though, in case you havent already heard. Its kind of a long story.

Quick! What do you know about Russia? What do you picture in your mind when you think of Russians? Me, Im an idiot, so I dont know shit apart from the stuff Ive seen in movies and on Youtube. When I think of Russia, I think crazy dashcam videos, meteors and tanks zipping by while people drive around in a Lada Niva, not giving a fuck about anything. Or people dressed up as furries and Spongebob characters beating the shit out of random folks

In movies, Russians get hit by more stereotypes than Germans. Russians are always spies, killers and villains, unless they have an Austrian accent for some inexplicable reason. The most popular Russian guy alive is probably Vladimir Putin and that guy is straight up terrifying. Yeah, we make fun of him being a little chubby in all those weird topless pictures and with the memes of him riding bears, but have you seen this guy in an interview? Holy shit, he gives me the chills! Russians are scary, right?

Thanks, internet!

Ive only ever personally known two people from Russia and they never spoke about the place much. Compared to my other friends they seemed a little cold, distant, but also super smart, cultured and well-educated. The reason why Im bringing this up is, because I was hired as a community manager by Russian game developer Owlcat Games. Theyre a bunch of industry legends, who worked on titles like Rage of Mages, Evil Islands, Allods (Online), Heroes of Might & Magic V and then they just so happened to buddy up with folks like Chris Avellone and Inon Zur. If you dont know who those two are, then frankly, youre not worthy of reading this blog.

Being a lowly freelance writer, I have never been a community manager before, but a paid fulltime job sounded too good for me to pass up. Things were really scary at first, because not everyone there speaks great English and I dont speak any Russian. The first couple of days I had to guess a little when I got work instructions and sometimes I had to write articles several times until they turned out to be what my new employers had in mind. At that point I was pretty sure Id get fired after my first month or so, because they probably thought I was a complete moron. Basically, my facial expression at work was pretty much this at all times:

Yes, these are pants on my chair. I dont need them for work.

Fortunately, first impressions can be deceiving. My new Russian friends arent scary at all. Theyre huge nerds! And I mean that in a good way. Theyre a bunch of guys passionately playing tabletop RPG sessions, dreaming about creating the next Baldurs Gate. And from what Ive seen so far, theyve absolutely got what it takes to do the job! In fact, why dont you check out their Kickstarter campaign? *wink*wink*nudge*nudge*

In the updates section you can see their technical director casually dropping Shrek jokes whilst sporting the most gloriously colourful shirt youll ever see on the internet. I get to help tweak and edit update text, take care of our social media and keep the communication between the community and the devs going. Its pretty exciting stuff, though sometimes its hard to shut up when I already know about some fun new content and features Im dying to talk about, but then I have to wait for official approval and what have you. I have quite a few community managers on my friends list, so Im hoping Ill be able to do a decent job like these guys do. With that said, Ive also noticed how most community managers tend to be a bit mental, to put it mildly. Not sure if thats a job requirement or simply a long-term effect of the job.

In other news...

I know Im late to the party, but now that I have a real job and Im starting to earn some actual money, I have finally got my hands on a Switch and its the most glorious thing, ever!
If you care about this console even the tiniest bit, then there is absolutely nothing I could say about it, that you havent already heard a million times over. Joy Cons are a bit bleh, accessories are overpriced, there are only about three games and Zelda is so stupidly good, Im absolutely crazy about it. And Im saying that as somebody, who has never completed any Zelda game, ever. I had Ocarina back in the day, but the water temple just fucking broke me. And by the time consoles like the GameCube or the Wii(U) were a thing, I dumped most of my cash on PC games, handheld consoles and the occasional Xbox title like Soul Calibur. I have zero nostalgia for Zelda.

But Breath of the Wild... holy shit! I picked up that game and instantly turned into a ninja. I snuck up on some sleeping bokoblin guy and insta-killed him with a sneaky kill move thingie. Then I picked up his bow and shot a brazier, which crashed into some explosive barrels, which nuked a whole camp of the little shits. Then I ninja-mounted a wild black horse, tamed it, braided its mane, went to archery training, shot 23 targets and won a full set of horse armor. Also, my Wolf Link Amiibo works with this game, so now I have a cool four-legged friend, who is exactly like Fallout 4s dogmeat, except he isnt fucking retarded, worthless and constantly in the way.

Whos a good boy?

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is also a thing, I guess, though Im not sure how to feel about it. Having 12 or 13 karts in the field simply seems a bit much. Sometimes youre in 1st place from the very beginning until the final turn in the final lap. Then comes the inevitable blue shell, followed by three red shells, lightning, a squid and a Bullet Bill. I know this sort of thing isnt exactly new to the series, but it seems even more extreme now that there are more racers on the track. Its a prison shower and youre not just picking up the soap - youre basically nailed to the floor, theres a flashing "open for business" sign on your ass, which is freshly shaven and lubricated with finest unsalted Irish butter.

With that in mind, trying to finish all the cups in 2 player mode is still a blast, though its also very stressful to our relationship. I may have called Claire a fat bitch on occasion, but shes a good sport about it. "Get out of my way", she said the other night. "Im a fat bitch and proud of it!" We should print that on t-shirts.

Street Fighter 2 is as fun as ever. Last, and most certainly least, theres Disgaea 5. I loved Disgaea on the PSP and the PS2, but I cant seem to warm up to this one. Its so full of gimmicks and shit that I have difficulty finding the actual gameplay underneath. And the writing... look, I know it has always been deliberaty cringey throughout the series, but at this point it just feels like a terrible fan-fic of itself. If I met these characters at a party Id get fucking annoyed and go home.

There was a Disgaea game, where you had to retrieve the female main characters stolen panties before anyone could sniff them - and Disgaea 5 is somehow worse!

Maybe Im just getting too old for this shit or all the other (2) games on the system are just too good. Still - with all the money I had to spend on the console, pro controller and other extra shit, I could have bought another mid-range gaming PC. Thats particularly true now that weve bought a 2nd Switch, so Claire and I could play Zelda without having to take turns all the time.

Now puh-leeeeease with sugar on top, Nintendo - dont release a Switch XXL or a Switch Pro or some other upgraded shit just one or two years after Ive bought two of the damn things. Let us enjoy these for a little while before all the bigger, faster, prettier versions come out like with the feckin 2/3DS!

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